Care for the Caregiver

This month’s blog is dedicated to caregivers. According to the 2022 White House Proclamation on National Family Caregivers Month, it’s estimated that there are approximately 50 million Americans serving as caregivers to family members who have been diagnosed with a terminal illness or who suffer from a serious medical and/or mental health condition. The impact of a terminal diagnosis within a family is devastating and far reaching, rippling outward from the patient to spouses/partners, parents, children, siblings, and extended family.

An Unexpected Role

At the time a diagnosis is given, family members, relatives, and/or friends may find themselves almost immediately placed in a caregiver role. As you take on this new role you may experience, not only increased stress and worry for your loved one, but you will likely acquire a variety of additional roles including nurse, physical therapist, nutritionist, financial analyst, and scheduler. While taking on these responsibilities for your loved one may be positive and incredibly rewarding the immediate, unfamiliar, and long term nature of a caregiving role can also feel overwhelming and daunting.

If you are taking on caregiver responsibilities to support an ill loved one, you should expect to experience a wide host of feelings. Feelings may include disbelief, confusion, anger, fear, or sadness. You may experience one feeling at a time or, more often, several feelings all at once. Remember, there is no such thing as a “wrong” feeling.  All feelings are completely valid and should be acknowledged. 

Caregiver Mental Health

It is difficult to see a loved one in discomfort or pain. If you are a primary caregiver, you will likely want to do everything in your power to ensure that your loved one is receiving the best possible care. While this is a loving, generous, and genuine pursuit, you must also remember that you are human and that every human has only so much mental, emotional, and physical energy to offer at any one time. Your energy is a valuable resource and one of the most important things you can do for your loved one is make sure that you are taking steps to regularly care for yourself so that you are able to show up in an optimal way. It is absolutely essential that you keep your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual gas tank full, or at a minimum, moderately full. Full stop.

Tips for Improving Caregiver Mental Health

Here are four ways that you, as a caregiver, can create space for yourself to help you more effectively manage the emotional and physical demands that are needed when caring for others:.

 

• Allow friends and family to support you. Often there are people within your family, friend circle, faith community, schools, workplaces who would love nothing more than to offer assistance, however, may not know exactly how to go about it. Designate close family members or friends to help you prioritize needs and tasks and allow them to take the lead with organizing volunteers to help.

 

• Respite care. Respite care provides temporary relief to a caregiver from the continuous support and care of a loved one who has a medical condition or disability. Services can be provided through in-home care agencies, adult day services, facilities that allow short-term stays, individuals you hire directly or from friends and relatives willing to volunteer. Respite care will be most helpful if you use it proactively and before you become exhausted, isolated, and overwhelmed by your responsibilities. These services are beneficial to both the caregiver and the care recipient. 

 

• Find support. A support group, either online or in-person, can offer caregivers an opportunity to share similar life experiences, as well as areas of expertise and “lessons learned,” while in a safe, supportive environment.

 

• Be aware of signs of caregiver burnout. Even the most dedicated and loving caregiver is susceptible to experiencing fatigue and/or burnout. Warning signs of burnout may include:

 

o   Avoiding the loved one

o   Anger

o   Fatigue

o   Depression

o   Impaired sleep

o   Increased physical ailments

o   Poor health

o   Irritability

           

These warning signs are indicators that you are in need of support and time off from caregiving responsibilities. If you are overwhelmed with managing the stressors of being a caregiver and are not sure where to begin to incorporate self-care into your day-to-day living, reach out to a mental health professional. Speaking with a professional can offer you a confidential, non-judgemental, neutral space to process feelings, problem solve, and identify and practice stress management and self-care strategies.