Healing Self-Criticism: A Key Skill for Healing Eating Disorders, Trauma, and Anxiety
April 2, 2025 | Katie Zweig
This is a repost of our blog originally posted in 2023.
Are You “Your Own Worst Enemy”?
“I shouldn’t have eaten that,”
“I can’t do anything right,”
“I’m a failure.”
Have thoughts like these ever crossed your mind? Or perhaps they don’t just pop up briefly, but linger on repeat, making you feel like you’re stuck in a loop. Thoughts like these can be isolating, and it may seem like you’re the only one struggling. However, this is a challenge that many people face. In fact, it’s something I’ve struggled with personally, and it’s something I continue to work on. I refer to these thoughts as my “inner critic.” While I haven’t learned how to completely silence it (nor am I sure I ever will), I’ve learned how to work with that part of myself.
If you’ve struggled with similar thoughts and feel at odds with this part of yourself, this blog post may be helpful. While these tips can be useful for managing your inner critic, I recommend working with a therapist to safely process any emotions and thoughts that may arise during this journey.
Working with Your Inner Critic
I used to fight against my inner critic. I often pushed back with the same hostility it showed me. I’d dismiss it, tell it to go away, and insist that I wasn’t listening. But this approach didn’t work. The voice only grew louder and more persistent. Over time, I discovered that working with my inner critic, rather than against it, was far more effective. Here are some strategies I’ve found helpful in managing my inner critic:
1. Practice Mindfulness
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Mindfulness involves practicing awareness without judgment. This can look like an internal dialogue such as, “I’m noticing this thought. I’m aware that it’s there. I can let it pass.” Pay attention to what accompanies the thought. Notice any physical sensations, behaviors, or urges that arise. If you can, tune into the emotions that come up as well. Simply noticing without judgment can help create space between you and the thought.
2. Ask Questions
When you hear your inner critic, ask yourself, “Whose voice is this?” Does it sound like a parent, a past bully, or perhaps even your own voice? What does the voice want? What is it trying to protect you from? Maybe it wants you to be perfect to avoid harm or criticism. Perhaps it needs reassurance that it’s doing its job and can now step aside. Understanding the voice’s origin and intention can provide valuable insight into why it’s there.
3. Practice Validation
It might feel counterintuitive to validate your inner critic, but it’s essential to recognize that this voice isn’t an enemy—it’s a part of you. Approaching your critic with understanding, rather than resistance, can create a powerful shift. Acknowledge that the inner critic may be trying to help, and gently let it know it can take a step back. By separating from the critical voice, you can create space to validate your other emotions.
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4. Practice Self-Compassion
Your inner critic is unlikely to disappear after a single conversation. Self-compassion is a skill that requires practice, and it gets easier over time. The more you practice, the better you’ll become at responding with kindness, rather than self-judgment.
If you found this blog post helpful, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for additional support. A therapist can provide a safe, confidential space to process your emotions and develop coping strategies for dealing with everyday stressors.
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